The world was my oyster
my dreams could be reached
the impossible could be attainable, it seemed
that's how I saw the world
beautiful, blissful, mine.
It was though, it was not enough
The smell of the earth that crumbled in my hand
The oxygen that filled my lungs
The sunsets that drew portraits in my head
I wanted to paint my masterpiece with the stars
Be able to breathe on the moon
Touch the galaxies with my fingertips
So then I felt the handlebars in my grasp
peddled as fast as I could
and whispered to my basket
"Home."
I like your poem its very vivid and detail but not enough, it has a good amount but I just cant tell who you're alluding to. Is it the boy from E.T.?
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your poem. I am sorry for not knowing what the meaning of "the world of my oyster" . I had to ask you what you were alluding to because i didn't watch the movie E.T before, but i bet if I did, I would get what you were talking about. The part I know when alluding was "the handlebars in my grasp" and "paddled as fast as i could." I think you should put one or two more details on the movie that can allude to you, but other than that I think you did a good job!
ReplyDeletegood start. however, like i stated earlier try to reference your allusion a bit more and make a stronger connection between yourself and the allusion. Why did you choose this story out of all the other? Explain why you are the story of ET. Also, although your last stanza contains large amounts of references, I am not sure what the purpose is or the meaning behind it. What does "home" have to do with you exploring the galaxy and why do you wish to have all this. Elaborate more. MS(3)
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