(my address)
Honolulu, Hawaii 96818
November 15, 2012
Oahu Transit Services
811 Middle Street
Honolulu, Hawaii 96819
Dear Oahu Transit Services,
I’ve been riding your buses on a regular basis since my
freshman year in high school, and it’s been two years since: not to mention
riding the bus to China Town when I was little with my grandma. Riding the bus
has been a place of familiarity and it has been especially the bus drivers
who’ve made the experiences enjoyable in the little ways. I appreciate the smiley
greetings, heart-warming goodbyes, and the occasional small talks.
However the recent changes and current conditions have made
my bus experiences difficult and uncomfortable. I’ve noticed that since the
canalization of the route B bus has made rides on the 2 bus rides that I would
dread. There are also many changes that have been made to other bus routes and
I have no doubt that others have to affected as well. There are days where I
would take the 3 bus into town from salt lake because the 32 bus only comes
every hour. After waiting a long while, I would get unto a severely cramped
number 2 bus, so cramped that passengers would be standing pass the yellow
boundary line holding on to the sides of the bus for dear life. Sometimes there
would be elderly struggling to stand up without falling between wide bus turns.
If the B bus can’t be reactivated, it would do so much if there would be more 2
buses especially during the rush hours.
Not only has it been uneasy riding the 2 bus, but also when
there would be times when I actually go to sit down, sometimes there would be a
stench. At times I’ve seen cockroaches and bugs on the bus crawling around.
Sadly I’ve also seen grafitti, and parts of the bus like the windows that need
to be taken cared of. I know that some of these things listed may seem like the
least of your problems but I feel that like Oahu’s buses should also be cared for
more. This is one of the major forms of transportations on the island and
citizens should feel confident when riding them.
I still continue to frequently ride the bus despite these
problems, and so do thousands of other citizens. But I feel that you should
take these suggestions and opinions, even those besides me because changes
towards these problems would drastically improve the travels of your
passengers.
Sincerely,
Adara Pineda
Adara! I can relate to your topic because i catch bus, occasionally though. Anyways, your letter is good but you should change some sentences. For example: "I’ve noticed that since the canalization of the route B bus has made rides on the 2 bus rides that I would dread" doesn't make sense. Also, make sure you fix your spelling. Oh, and uhm, it's Hawaii, of course the bus will be dirty, homeless people durhh. haha. Other than that, good job. x)
ReplyDeleteGood job on your draft! Your personal experiences really back up your problem and also the other forms of evidence that you have provided really support your problem! Although, there are some grammatical errors that could simply be fixed by reading over your essay. Also, considering I'm not one that has taken the bus before so I don't know what the usual bus routes are or which "2 bus" that you're talking about. Elaborating on that a little more will better explain it and make it easier to understand. Good Luck!
ReplyDeleteGreat rough draft! Please make sure that everything written is comprehensive. For example "and it's been two year since" not sure what that means also "canalization" not sure if this is the right word in the context you are trying to use it for. So just make sure everything makes sense. ES(4)
ReplyDelete